Severus Snape's Gorgeous Pink Hair
by AggresiveFangirling
Summary: After completely screwing up in Potions Class, Ron finishes off by accidentally pouring all of the beautiful pink goop on Professor Snape, confirming his doom. In the end, however, he realizes that it might not have been a bad day after all.


_This was written for The House Competition._

 _House: Slytherin  
_ _Category: Short Story  
_ _Prompt: [Speech] "Name told me to. So I did."_

 _Word count: Approx 1,530_

* * *

Ron was frustrated. No, more than that, he was furious. He sat in Potions, glowering down at the contents of his cauldron. The bloody potion wouldn't thicken, instead choosing to remain the consistency of chunky milk, and kept shooting out golden sparks instead of emitting a faint glow. To make things worse, while everyone else's potions were brown, his somehow managed to turn _neon pink._

He really ought to have listened to Hermione when she'd told him to put the dead spider in _after_ the potion started bubbling. Her potion was light brown and smelled faintly of apples, just as the textbook described; it really was a pity that when class had started, Snape had moved her to the other side of the room so that she wouldn't "offer advice to those too dim-witted to read and follow instructions." Even If she was next to him, his potion wouldn't be perfect, but at least it wouldn't be bright pink.

 _Where's Harry when you need him,_ he thought, desperately ducking his head as he heard Snape walking towards him. Hopefully the git would be too busy fawning over the Slytherins' potions to notice his own botched attempt… he glanced over at Malfoy, whose potion looked passable.

But then Draco bloody Malfoy had to speak. "Well done, Weasley," he jeered. "What's that supposed to be, a love potion? Maybe if you dose Granger, she'll finally let you take her to Hogsmeade. Though I doubt even Amortentia could convince her to go anywhere with _you_."

Ron sputtered, his ears turning almost as red as his hair. He glared at Draco.

Before he could say anything, however, someone hastily slipped into the seat next to him. Ron sighed in relief when he heard Harry say, "Sorry, mate." For half a second, he'd thought it'd been Hermione, come to lecture him on how to _correctly_ brew a invisibility potion. "McGonagall had me stay in after Transfiguration... That was fun."

"No worries," Ron whispered back from the corner of his mouth. "Just help me finish this bloody potion-"

"Mr. Potter," Snape dragged out, stalking up to their bench. "You're early."

"I try, sir," Harry nodded innocently. "I trust you won't deduct points then if I'm so… early."

Ron's lips twitched. That wasn't Harry's typical response… he must have been talking to Fred and George again.

"And why do you look so pleased, Mr. Weasley? Even _Hagrid_ could have done a better job than that, and our groundskeeper is not noted for his aptitude in the subtle art of potion making. Or magic in general."

Ron swallowed. "Sorry, Professor," he stuttered, "I- I must've brewed it wrong,"

"Yes, you imbecile. Of course, you brewed it incorrectly," he snapped. "Five points to Gryffindor for knowing what even a muggle could tell me… and fifteen from Gryffindor for botching a potion any self-respecting first year could brew."

By now, almost all eyes were on Ron and Harry. Suppressed groans came from the Gryffindors, followed by the satisfied snickers of the Slytherins.

"Wha- that's not fair!" Hermione cried.

"Shut up," Ron muttered. He saw Neville put a hand on Hermione's shoulder and whispering for her to remain silent. At least one of them had common sense. He wished he could elbow Hermione in the ribs - Snape would no doubt make his detention worse because of her outburst. Sometimes, she was so bloody naive. "Since when has Snape cared about how _fair_ things are?" he mumbled to Harry.

Harry nodded stiffly.

"Need I remind you that this was an _invisibility_ potion. You may finish that mess you call a potion, or start over," Snape said dryly. "You have five minutes before class is dismissed." Ron swore he could see malicious glee glittering in Snape's eyes. "Remember, the purpose of this exercise is to produce _drinkable_ potions. Not potions which poison those who drink them." Then he smirked. "Unless your potion is safe by the end of the period, Mr Weasley, you'll be serving detention with Mr Filch tonight. You as well, Mr. Potter."

Ron began to protest, but Snape only said smoothly, "If you do not believe the assessment of a Potions Master, Mr Weasley, you are always welcome to drink your potion yourself and prove it is _safe_. If would be… a pity if you did not survive such a test. I am sure the others would miss your dim-witted contributions." With that, Snape returned to stalking between the desks, peering into students' cauldrons, and harshly criticizing the Gryffindor's potions.

Ron glanced nervously at Harry. "Should I add more crushed cockroaches or start over?" he asked, wincing at the thought of having to brew that potion once again.

Harry grimaced. "Start over, but mate, you're buggered. There's no way you can finish in five minutes. Unless Hermione knows how to fix it?"

"She might," Ron replied, glancing over to where Hermione sat, her perfect potion simmering softly on low flame as she coached Neville through his brewing. "Snape's over there, though, so she won't be able to come over to us… I'll have to go to her." Although his cauldron was nearly filled to the brim with boiling brown goop, Ron cautiously picked it up and got to his feet, intending to bring his potion over to Hermione. Last time he'd tried to explain what was wrong with his potion to her without a sample, she'd been put out for a week.

Behind him, Draco smirked. "Watch this," he said to Crabbe and Goyle. As he lazily leaned back, he stuck his foot out into the aisle.

"Ron! Watch out!"

At Harry's warning, Ron stumbled back, and as if on cue to make things worse, he felt someone's breath tickle the little hairs on the back of his neck. His eyes widened.

"Mr. Weasley, I suggest you watch where you go before-"

"Sorry, sir," Ron mumbled. He hastily stepped away, once again tripping on Draco's outstretched leg. This time, he was sure luck wasn't on his side, because the cauldron flew out of his arms and unceremoniously dumped its contents over Snape's greasy hair.

The silence in the room was deafening.

No one said a word. All gaped at their stoney Professor, standing stiffly in the middle of the classroom completely drenched in the pink liquid. It was as if a dementor had entered the room. It felt as if any happiness around them was drained out of the air, and Ron stared in absolute horror as Snape wiped the potion off of his face. Some of the pink liquid was flicked to the stone floor with a harsh motion of the Potions Master's fingers.

And if it were not for a certain Malfoy's muffled sniggering, perhaps Snape would have spared the unlucky Weasley. But after that obnoxious hiss, Severus' face hardened, and Ron knew his fate was sealed.

" _Mr. Weasley."_ His tone could have frozen fiendfyre.

Ron gulped.

" _What_ do you think you're doing?"

For a moment, Ron couldn't answer him. "S-Sorry, Professor. Harry told me to. So I did," he stuttered. "Went to pour it out, that is,"

"And you did just that," Snape drawled. He turned around to face Harry, looking quite intimidating. Or would have, if it wasn't for the fact that he still had neon pink goop dripping off his chin. "You and Mr Weasley. Detention for a month."

…

"Honestly, Harry.. I'm just glad I didn't get _expelled."_ Ron had been terrified that old Snape was going to murder him, actually.

Harry snickered. "The look on his face was bloody priceless,"

Ron shuddered. "Yeah, well.. I think I'll study for the next potions test." He said, just as Hermione caught up with two.

She snorted. "After _that_ , I'm sure anyone would. I heard Parvati saying something about him being particularly nasty this morning. You'd best look out."

"Can you blame him? His hair's pinker than Umbridge's clothes could ever be," Harry grinned, not at all troubled by the fact that he had to suffer detention with Snape for an entire month.

Hermione shook her head. "How did you even manage to _make_ such an awful potion, Ron? I'm disappointed." Although her twitching lips proved otherwise. "Maybe Professor Snape will give in halfway through.. I doubt he wants to deal with you two right now." She looked a little green thinking about the horrible things that Snape might do to them while forced to have lurid pink hair.

Harry only shrugged. "Oh, come on, Ron!" he pushed his friend lightly. "Don't look as if the world's coming to an end. I think it was quite worth it." Harry's face was lit up like a Christmas tree.

Ron only frowned.

"I should get going," Hermione announced. "It was nice knowing you two."

Harry grinned. Ron looked miserable.

Together they walked into the Potions classroom for their detention. Their gaze fell upon the man in black, bent over one of the desks. The only spot of colour was his neon pink hair, pulled back and tied with a black ribbon. He turned and fixed a blank stare on the two boys.

Ron's eyes met the poor Potions Master's.

Harry was right. It _was_ worth it.


End file.
